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Online Dating Tips

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Are you anxious and nervous about meeting someone online? The majority of people are their first time out, but it gets easier in time. The more you “date” over the Internet the better you get and the more comfortable you become. As you gain experience you will find what works for you want what doesn’t. If you follow the tips below you may find that they work well for you and it will give you the confidence you need.

First things first

Asking Someone Out

When it comes to online dating and choosing to meet in person there are some basics you need to keep in mind. First, only ask someone out on a real date if you are really interested in getting to know them better. The way to do this is to take it slow. Email each other several times, talk over Instant Messaging, and work your way up to talking on the phone. After you have talked on the phone a few times and you feel comfortable, consider mentioning meeting in person. If you want to do this by email, that works too. If the other person is interested then set a date and time to meet for coffee, in a park, or mall. Keep it light the first time out.

Choosing Where to Meet

The best place to meet for your first date is in a casual atmosphere that has many people. You want to be comfortable and choosing a casual place will make this easier. You don’t want to go overboard with a romantic restaurant your first date. Consider choosing a café, library, popular low-key restaurant, or another place that you really love.

Share the News

Before you go on a date let a friend know your plans and where you are going. This is important for safety issues, but also to help you lighten up before the big meeting. You’ll also have someone to talk to should the date go badly or someone to gossip with if you find that you are rally attracted to your date. It’s just all around a good idea to share the news.

Be Realistic

The easiest way to prepare yourself for your date is to be realistic. Don’t get so excited and worry about impressing your date or imagining that this might be “the one.” You should pretend as if you are simply meeting a friend for coffee. If things go beyond that, great, and if not you won’t feel let down. Not to mention you won’t make your date feel as nervous because you will be relaxed.

Date Time

Punctual

This is the first date, and your first and last chance to make a good first impression. So, do whatever it takes to get you to the meeting place on time or even a little early.

Complement

Breaking the ice is difficult, but if you have something planned out ahead of time it will be easier to do. Complement your date about anything. A shirt, shoes, purse, hairstyle, anything really. Just focus on something you like and in a casual way complement them on it. They will feel good, more relaxed, and the date will get off on the right foot.

Focus

While on your date focus on what your date is saying. Use your date’s name, ask plenty of questions, make eye contact, and appear interested. If your date is the quiet type and you have been rambling on for more than five minutes without interruption then stop yourself, ask a pointed question, and get your date talking. If you don’t like going on and on about yourself then consider coming up with some open ended questions ahead of time and asking those!

Respect

Make sure you respect your date and remember your manners. Don’t get too close to your date on the first date and pay attention to what’s being said. Be careful with your humor, too, because while this could be the starting point of a very funny evening it could also be your downfall if your date doesn’t’ get it. So, try a joke or two to see how they come off, and if they work keep going. If not, try some regular conversation instead!

Future Outings

If you have enjoyed yourself on the date and would like a second then make it known. If you aren’t that blunt then say something subtle. This could be as easy as saying you love the restaurant, but next time you should try another favorite place. The “next time” is a subtle way of saying you want there to be a next time! Be flirty enough to allow your date the encouragement necessary to ask you out again if you are too shy to ask yourself.

Cool, Calm, and Relaxed

While you are on your date behave like a grownup. Don’t have a friend call at a certain hour to ask how things are going and give you an “emergency” should you want to get out of the date. Instead, act like a mature adult and tell your date that you enjoyed the evening, and leave. You don’t have to go on another date, but you don’t have to act like a rude adolescent should things not go as you had planned. If things are going great and a friend calls, don’t answer. Most people don’t like for others to talk on their cell phone in front of them. It’s rude, so avoid it if at all possible.

Afterwards

Call Your Best Friend

After the date is the time to share the news. Give your friend a play by play and talk about how wonderful your date was, how awful it was, or whatever! You’ll enjoy rehashing the date with a friend no matter how it turned out.

Follow Up

When you arrive home if you had a fantastic time email your date and tell them that. Also mention you would love to set up another time to go out. If your date feels the same they will respond and you can set up another meeting. If your date didn’t feel the same way then you will find out sooner rather than later and can move on to bigger and better things. Avoid those silly games of waiting a certain amount of time to call or write, that’s just silly.

Don’t Overanalyze Things

Men and women alike overanalyze things after a first date. You don’t want this to happen to you so relax and think about other things. If you had a great time on your date, sent of an email saying so, and haven’t heard back for a few days then just relax. You could be getting the cold shoulder or your date could be making you sweat a little. If a few more days pass and you still haven’t heard anything give them a call or send an email asking about a second meeting. If you don’t get the response you had hoped for, simply move on!

Letting Your Date Off Easily

As soon as you arrive and meet your date for the first time you may realize that things are not meant to be. Do your best to endure the evening while cutting it short. In addition, when you arrive home send an email thanking your date for their time and getting to know you, but you feel that you two just aren’t suited. Be polite and respectful and think about the other person’s feelings while you do so.

Be Honest

If you are sure you don’t want to continue seeing the particular person then don’6t lead them on. Sure, it feels great to have emails in your inbox and voicemails on your cell phone, but it should not be at the expense of someone else’s feelings.

You Did It!

Now that the date is over you can real and be proud of yourself, regardless of the outcome. IT’s great news if things went really well, but even if they didn’t that’s no reason to give up on online dating but rather a reason to start looking someone else. You were able to singlehandedly change your life, even if for only a few moments, and you met someone new. That’s a big step and important for online dating. Now you can take the next step, which is either a second date or starting all over again!